‘Go back and live with your mom’: Woman Has Been Engaged for Three Years Already, Fiancé's Mother Keeps Postponing the Wedding So She Gives Him an Ultimatum

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 5 days ago Zealousideal_Cat958 AITA for calling off my wedding and telling my fiancé to move back home with mommy?
  • 02
    I'm not going to try and swing this in my favor here by leaving out details or sugar coating anything. I was MEAN about it. He was crying. I've been with my fiancé for 7 years and we have been engaged for 3 years. We have gone ahead and tried to do a "save the date" 4 times now and every single time, his mom
  • 03
    convinces him to postpone. It's always a "well don't you think you have bigger things to worry about?" Whether it be our living situation (we are renting and she thinks we should buy first because we "aren't stable"), or our money situation (this was her excuse after we loaned HER $8k so she didn't lose her house but we have plenty of money, as my
  • 04
    husbands an RN and I'm a lawyer). It's just always something. We planned for a family gathering in my mom's backyard. She has 3 acres and a beautiful pond and it's just perfect. And we are doing a pot luck. So, very low cost wedding. Plus, everyone we know lives within an hour of the location so only giving a month or two notice
  • 05
    is perfectly acceptable in our case. With all this said, his mom has zero reason to try and sway us against it. But her newest argument is that we "need" to wait until our daughter is "at least 3" so she can be our flower girl (she's 7 months old).
  • 06
    Well, in December my husband and I talked and we decided we wanted to get married in August. I told him "don't let your mom dictate it" and he said he wouldn't and that he was tired of listening to her. Fair enough. But last weekend my mother and his mother both came for dinner and I was talking to my mom about what dress I wanted her to wear
  • 07
    as the Matron of Honour. My husband's mom asked when we planned to tell her we had decided on a date and my husband said "when we told everyone else". She just said "oh" and got quiet and took leave maybe 20 minutes later. He had already made plans to go over to her house after dinner to help her with her cable box so he left
  • 08
    shortly after that to head over to her place while I drank some wine with my mom. When he got back he was super quiet but said he was just tired and went to bed. But last night he said, at random, "my mom kind of has a point.. maybe we should wait until we buy a house so our living situation is a bit more
  • 09
    stable. She's not wrong in saying that it should be something we are worried about." I just went silent and didn't comment, because I was off. But he kept making comments, like "it'll only be a couple of years, 5 at most". I just took my ring off and handed it to him and said I was no longer interested. He immediately started protesting
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    and trying to put the ring back on my finger and I wouldn't let him. I said I was no longer interested in marrying him and maybe he should move back home with mommy because I know for a fact that that woman will make up another excuse the second we buy a house and I'm really just so turned off at the thought of marrying him at this point
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    because I have zero business being with a man who has no back bone and would put our lives on hold in favor of a woman who still wants to scrub his back in the shower (as I said, I was mean about it. But to clear it up now - no, she has not said she wants to scrub his back in the shower BUT she often talks about how she "had to" help him
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    shower for months when he was 16 because he broke his leg and as the story goes, he told her he didn't want help and she forced it weird - and because shes it's even weirder that she still talks about it like it was a fond memory to see her 16yo naked). He's crying at this point and I'm stupid calm, maybe because I'm over it, and told him I wanted him.
  • 13
    to leave or I could leave. But those were the only options. He ended up leaving, sobbing the entire time. I do feel bad. I feel gutted. He means everything to me. But I can't do this anymore. AITA? His mom has been blowing up my phone with texts, trying to plead her case and I just texted back and said "no, it's fine, you won. Now you can have your
  • 14
    baby boy back full time." And blocked her number. My friends think I'm wildly overreacting. ETA: sorry for confusion, I call him "my husband" by habit and have since before we got engaged.
  • 15
    Fire_or_water_kai 5d ago NTA People think that when a relationship really ends, it's this huge production, but in reality, it's quieter, just like what happened here.
  • 16
    I don't know who would honestly tell you you've overreacted because you FINALLY got fed up with his mom literally dictating how two adults with careers and a child will love their lives. I don't know how you didn't leave sooner.
  • 17
    • GardenSpiritualist 5d ago. NTA. Finances and stability aside, no grown man should let his mother postpone his wedding 4+ times!!
  • 18
    CrystalQueen3000 5d ago ΝΤΑ He's repeatedly made it clear that his mother's opinion is more important than yours, he's going to have a very lonely life if he doesn't learn to cut the cord and have some boundaries
  • 19
    Raptor007 ⚫5d ago NTA. Even after you buy a house there will be another excuse. Sadly he had the chance to stand his ground and failed for the last time. Sorry for the loss of your relationship but it sounds like it was for the best.
  • 20
    degenerat2947 • 5d ago ΝΤΑ Only you can make the judgment of when enough is enough.
  • 21
    Icy-Doctor23 • 5d ago NTA you were at your wits end! You just wanted to get married and live happily ever after without his mommy interfering yet again. And when she did your frustrations came out. It's probably best that you
  • 22
    It's probably best that you did end it because she was going to interfere in everything throughout your lifetime. He needs some serious counseling in order to cut the cord

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